Hotel Haiku

Sat Jul 21, 2007 2:56 pm

Haiku is pretty cool. For those of you who are retarded in the world of prose and composition, haiku is a Japanese poetry formed by three lines of 5 syllables, 7 syllables and then 5 syllables.

Usually, haiku is used to describe feelings and sensations through seasons and matched doubles. However, we recently decided that short poetry used in the correct situations would have been less expensive than destroying our hotel room, throwing the TV out the window and using the bathtub for Jell-o wrestling. Examples follow.

Yo, vanilla-face,
Hit me with the Penthouse Suite.
That and some duct tape.

Concierge watching.
Get these hookers up quickly.
Yep, it's an orgy.

Get your riot gear
and hide your wives and daughters.
Hotel room near you.

Cannonball, bitches!
It's a coccaine pool party!
Lots of guest complaints.

This is my office.
Have a seat. We've got your girl.
New to the slave trade.

Awoke in bathtub.
Covered in ice and stinging.
Where is my kidney?

God, I'll never sin
If you get me to my room.
Settle for lobby.

Softball conference.
Nubile teens. Drunk chaperones.
We'll need more visquine.

They're adjoining rooms.
We'll party here, pass out there.
Nevermind. No sleep.

TV in the bath.
Room is flooded, mattress trashed.
All on stolen card.